we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize