Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
