He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
