Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
