I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
