I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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