I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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