i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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