i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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