Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
