Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
