Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
