My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
