I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
