I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So vagazzling was a success
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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