I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
