His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
