You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
