You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
