how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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