***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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