shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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