Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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