After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
