I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
