I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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