Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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