She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
