im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
