i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just want nice things and good sex
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
