I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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