you win again, gameday.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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