Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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