Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
