Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
