my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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