The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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