I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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