The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
