meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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