Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
did i walk over a car last night?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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