There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
