Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
