Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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