This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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