I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
