so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
