I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
