in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
