dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
