If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
