she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize