Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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