It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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