Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
