and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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