I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so that wasnt chicken after all
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
