I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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