ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
