I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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