I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
