Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Come share oat with me in your robe
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
