He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
