I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize