Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
