What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize