idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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