I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
