dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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