Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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