Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
