after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
