Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You ruined the universe
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize