i would punch a child for taco bell
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
