You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize